I went to an Overeaters Anonymous Meeting today. It was good and it was bad. About 90% of the class was over and I started getting these urges that I just couldn't take it. I wanted to leave. I didn't want to hear anymore of the same stuff I have always heard. Nothing was new and a lot of the things people were talking about discovering I have already discovered. But, I realize that just discovering them isn't enough. I need community. I need other people. So, getting to know these people isn't going to be easy or fun for me, but in the end, I think it will be rewarding and probably the best thing I have ever done for myself.
I also went to hot yoga today. I have only been on my eating plan 30 hours and my yoga practice has already improved. I am not sure whether it is the placebo effect or what, but the poses felt easier. I felt lighter. No sugar in my system to poison me and pull me down. Looking in the mirror, my skin even seemed to glow. I felt strong. Now, of course with yoga, every day is different, so I might have just been having one of my good days. It will be interesting to see in the coming weeks what happens with my yoga practice. I did ALL the poses.
When I got home from yoga, I experienced this euphoric feeling like I have never had before. I think I was having a premonition of how fantastical my life can be if I don't poison myself. I can fly. I can do anything. That is what I was feeling. It almost brought me to tears because I really can not remember ever EVER having a feeling of such power. So, I don't know what is happening to me, if anything. It could just be a one moment high. But I really liked it. If I can have that feeling, then I can really give up sugar!
Two days abstinent from compulsive overeating.
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