So this guy starts calling me, right. He is a little rough around the edges but I am lonely so I am playing along. Last night he totally wigged out. In the past I would have tried to resolve everything. But this is a guy not worth resolving. He is selfish, self-centered, and he is not logical. I do not need any of that drama and now, I recognize it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Huge breakthrough for me, HUGE! I could let it go and the feeling inside of me was not of loss. I felt completely ok. I mean my life is good enough, and for the first time, I like myself enough to not try to do everything in my power to cater to this crazy guy. I know most of you think that is stupid and who in her right mind caters to crazy guys, but I did. I wanted to be loved so much, that I let crazy men into my life and would kill myself trying to make it make sense. So today I am thanking God and myself for my growth in loving myself and not settling for crap.Also, today is TWO WEEKS on my eating plan and I have lost a total of 12.4 pounds!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My energy is getting better, so I am very grateful today to God, OA, and to my own soul for some significant breakthroughs.
Hi!
ReplyDeleteI think this a great revelation for you and for any other woman that reads your blog. We all have catered to the "wrong" guy, so you are not alone. I commend you on your weight loss and hope that you continue to find love for yourself. What is your eating plan? I, myself, am on a weight loss journey and have been documenting it on a blog-day by day. I want to lose at least 10-15lbs before the end of the month which would give me a motivation and morale boost.
Well, I no longer do harmful things to myself. I just refuse. I am learning how to love myself and that includes what I eat. I had to stop eating things that were hurting me. I have a horrible addiction to sugar. So I have eliminated all sweets from my diet for now. It may be forever if I can't work a plan to where I can control my portions. I have joined Overeaters Anonymous as well because I needed support. We can't do anything on our own. We need to ask God to help and to get people here on earth to be accountable to. I am also a compulsive eater. So my new food plan is first to follow the "17 Day Diet" which is a nutritionally sound plan (loving my body, not starving it). But it is very strict. I am using it because it had helped me get over my sugar withdrawals and cravings and it doesn't allow me to compulsively eat. I needed portion limits and rules. There are 4 17 day cycles. I will be finished with my first one tomorrow, Jan 17th. So I will be moving to Cycle 2. After this eating plan is finished and I have lost all the weight I need to, I will work on a maintenance plan with my OA sponsor. I have to have a plan so that I don't go back to compulsively overeating on sweets or anything.
ReplyDeleteI was reading your blog and I am worried about what you are eating. You are not getting enough nutrients each day. I worry that your body is going to go into starvation mode and not only stop losing pounds, but if you start eating normal again, you might gain even more weight. I am saying this with love and concern. I hope you will try to find a diet that is nutritionally giving you everything you need each day. Treat your body well and you will reap rewards. You can look up the "17 Day Diet" online, it is good and it works FAST if you stick to it exactly. And, YOU WON'T BE HUNGRY!
Well my eating was mostly due to not being able to shop. I didn't get to go out shopping because we were snowed in for a week. But I agree that I am not getting enough nutrients and I will check out this diet. Thank you for your concern. It's very hard doing this alone-although I know that I am not alone. Thanks for the encouragement I really do appreciate it. Hopefully I can get in this diet and see results without starving myself and feeling hungry.
ReplyDeleteThanks,
Tisha